wherever you are
by Xephonia
Summary: Vanitas wants Ventus back, so he takes the vessel away at night. (Set during KH3, Vanitas is currently using Ventus' body.)


Perhaps it's pathetic to take Ventus' new shell away at night, with the shine of the moon that isn't Kingdom Hearts illuminating Vanitas' helmet— he doesn't dare take it off, not here; because it is Ventus' face he's wearing and Ventus' body he's using. It doesn't feel complete.

Ventus' heart is missing, hidden away in the new shell; the boy who looks like Vanitas' original body.

The boy— Sora, was it?— sleeps through a lot. He sleeps through Vanitas carrying him through a portal of darkness, sleeps through Vanitas muttering Ventus' name—

doesn't sleep through the sound of Vanitas using his keyblade to unlock the door of his chambers in the castle that never was.

(Vanitas has his own rooms, here, and Xehanort's eyes are never directed to his own ranks. If they were, Vanitas would go. Nobody is having Ventus.)

"You-" Sora rubs his eyes. "You're that guy from Monstropolis!" He struggles, but he's weak.

(Vanitas still feels the need to restrain him. Experiences with Ventus have taught him better.)

"Vanitas, was it, right?"

That, undoubtedly, isn't a reaction from Ventus— the boy just remembers the name because Ventus said it through him.

(It's weird, hearing the name being said so softspoken. Vanitas has only ever heard it spoken with contempt. Well, that will change.)

He effortlessly ties Sora up before dumping him on his bed and closing the door. "Be quiet. He'll hear."

"Who?" Sora looks around disoriented. "We're in the castle?! Is 'he'-"

"Xehanort, yes. Now shut it." Vanitas sighs and sits down.

(Xehanort had told him that just using the keyblade won't suffice in regaining his second half. It didn't stop Vanitas from trying to find other ways.)

"And who are you?" Sora is obnoxious, quite the way Ventus was at the start, long before he set out on the journey Vanitas had let him to. "I mean, I know your name, but—"

"Another half." Vanitas rests his hands on the edge of the bed.

Through the helmet, Sora's hair looks almost black. Vanitas contemplates a moment to wonder if this is what Ventus saw.

(In the back of his mind, Vanitas wonders if this is what they'd've looked like if Ventus had wanted the fusion— Ventus' bright blue eyes, Vanitas' looks. He dismisses the thought. Ventus would never want that. Ventus never wanted that. That's why Vanitas ended up the way he did.)

"Of? Stop playing games and tell me what's going on." Sora tries to remove the restraints, to no avail.

Can't call your keyblade if you can't use your hands, idiot.

Instead, Vanitas idly lets his fingers trail across Sora's side.

(Less lean than Vanitas himself, and more like Ventus.

...Smells like Ventus, too.)

"Hey, uhm, Vanitas." Sora manages to sit up. "Who's Ventus? You called me Ventus before."

"My other half."

Sora scratches his head. "Like a nobody's original self?"

Irritation. Why isn't he angry anymore? Vanitas can feel an Unversed appear, somewhere.

"Kind of, but not exactly."

Sora nods like he understands, and Vanitas is sure he doesn't.

"Will you take off that helmet?"

"What?"

"It's weird talking to someone whose eyes I can't see." Sora makes a face. "Kind of like when Riku had a blindfold and— wait! Where are the others, are they-"

Vanitas puts his hand over Sora's mouth. "I don't know where they are, didn't bother with them. Be quiet."

Sora nods, and Vanitas removes his hand. Sora stares at him expectantly. It feels wrong, letting Sora— letting Ventus see his face like that. But perhaps it makes sense, that now their appearances are reversed.

"Fine." Vanitas takes off the helmet, adjusting to the light in the room.

Sora gasps. "Roxas?!" He immediately holds his own mouth shut. "Sorry. But you're Roxas, right?"

Vanitas shakes his head. Xehanort had told him of Sora's nobody, and how one of the objectives was retrieving him. Vanitas barely listened— all he wants to retrieve is Ventus. "Roxas looks like this?"

Sora nods repeatedly. "Are you trying to joke with me, or-"

"No." Vanitas shakes his head. "He probably looks like this because Ventus is inside you."

"That's way too complicated."

"That's just how it is." Vanitas does, however, like seeing Sora helpless and confused, so he adds, "Originally, I looked like you."

"Eh? Is that why you've been touching me like that?"

Vanitas gazes down to notice his hand on Sora's thigh.

 _However that happened._

"Whatever." Vanitas sighs, but he doesn't remove his hand.

Sora looks sad. "You miss him a lot, don't you?"

" _Miss_?" Vanitas laughs condescendingly, but it feels hollow, like everything without Ventus. "No. I just need him to be complete."

"That sounds like missing someone to me."

"Shut it." Vanitas puts a hand on Sora's throat. "I don't think you realize the situation you're in."

Sora gives him an optimistic smile. "You wouldn't kill me. After all, Ventus is in here, right?"

Vanitas is angry and yet— Sora is right.

(Sora doesn't need to know that, so Vanitas increases the pressure until the damn smile leaves his face.)

 _Better._

Sora isn't capable of being angry the way Ventus is.

"You'd think by now he'd be trying to do something to protect you," Vanitas muses, releasing his grip a little when he notices Sora might pass out. "What a pathetic wimp."

Sora stares up at Vanitas. "What'll you do if you get him back? What are you trying to do?"

 _I don't know._

He didn't know when he fought Ventus inside their heart, he didn't know when he chose to follow Xehanort once more. At this point, the pain ending would be great already. Won't happen, though.

(After all, what is there to his life beyond fruitlessly seeking Ventus? Little has been as exhilarating as making Ventus mad.)

Speaking of—

Vanitas doesn't answer Sora's question and instead lifts Sora's chin up, and as if moved by instinct alone he leans in.

(Instinct to piss Ventus off, because if nothing else works, this will.)

"Vanitas— stop—"

Like Vanitas ever listens to orders. His lips make contact with Sora's and _wow, this is weird_ , is this what his own lips would've felt like?— and he pushes Sora into the pillows, one knee between Sora's legs.

Sora squirms beneath him, and Vanitas takes it as an incentive to apply pressure on his throat again so he'll open his mouth.

(Vanitas has no experience with any of this, but it's the most obvious way of 'becoming one' he can think of. He's tried, before- merging with Sora the way he did with Ventus, but it feels wrong, this isn't how it works.)

He muffles Sora's protests, too busy lost in thought of the days right after his birth; when he missed Ventus so much it felt like being torn apart.

(It still does, sometimes. Like now.)

He idly lets his hands wander under Sora's shirt. Warm. It's like Ventus is so, so close, yet eternally out of reach.

"...crying."

Vanitas breaks the kiss, irritated.

"Why are you crying?" The look in his eyes is nothing like Sora. "You were doing this to hurt me, or not?"

"Are you-"

Sora— Ventus, really— nods before headbutting Vanitas roughly, making him temporarily see stars. "I don't get you. Why are you doing this?"

"Because you—" Vanitas is interrupted by the gentleness returning to Sora's eyes.

There's a beat. Sora stares at Vanitas. Then.

"You're crying? What happened? I don't remember—" Sora says too many words, and Vanitas puts his hand over Sora's mouth again.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does." Sora pouts lightly. "'Their hurting will be mended when you return to end it'. That's what I was told. And while 'they' didn't include you, it can't hurt, right?" He grins.

 _Insufferable_.

This kind of irritation isn't too bad, though.

Vanitas is about to speak, but Sora goes on, "So, what did Ventus say?"

"Being a clueless idiot as usual."

"Sounds like me."

"Two idiots in one body."

"Hey!" Sora laughs, then stiffens a little. "Wait, you weren't joking, right."

"I wasn't." Vanitas sighs. This is pointless, he realizes as he wipes the tears from his eyes.

"You're awful."

Where did those come from anyway? And were they what made Ventus surface?

Sora is back to working on his restraints, and Vanitas can hear footsteps in the distance. Probably Xigbar. Or the kid.

"Don't bother." He opens a corridor of darkness and slices Sora's restraints in half. "Go now. Before he comes."

"Vanitas?" Sora hesitates.

"What?"

"I will bring Ventus back. Promise." Sora steps through the corridor, grinning as he does.

What a fool.

(In the window, he sees Ventus— well, himself, looking like Ventus— reflected, smiling.

Wait.

Smiling?)


End file.
